Chuck Norris...III

This one will be added on to until it reaches a similar length to the previous two.

Chuck Norris was once clean shaven and Vin Diesel used to have a full head of hair. Then the two crossed paths.

Chuck Norris doesn't like Jared from Subway. He was quoted as saying, "I can't respect anyone that eats sandwiches to lose weight."

When Chuck Norris was in elementary school, one of his classmates stabbed him with a pencil. The pencil got a splinter.

In an effort to thwart Dave Thomas, Chuck Norris stole the beef. When Wendy's customers asked, "Where's the beef?" he would come in and answer, "Not here fool."

Chuck Norris invented the beard. He receives several million dollars in annual royalties from Santa Claus, Jesus, Richard Dreyfuss, and Chewbacca.

According to Kanye West, Chuck Norris does not care about black people.

Chuck Norris competes in every Special Olympics just to emphasise how dominant he really is. At the conclusion of the events, he roundhouse kicks 5 carefully chosen people from the audience thereby making them "eligible" for the next years' games. Chuck likes a little competition.

One year Chuck Norris impersonated Santa. He would come down the chimney and proceeded to give roundhouse kicks to the face of boys and girls who were awake in a hope to see Santa for real.

Chuck Norris uses bleach as mouth wash.

One time a kid came up to Chuck Norris and said, "My name is Chuck, too." Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked kid in the head and said, "Your name is now Mentally retarded kid."

Chuck Norris' drivers license photo looks professionally done.

Lance Armstrong onces made fun of Chuck Norris. As a result Chuck Norris challenged Lance to a bikerace using the Tour de France's actual course. Instead of peddling Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his bike the length of the course and beat Lance by three days.

Chuck Norris wears bio-enginered ranglers that don't rip when he kicks.

Ford, realizing their mistake, recently changed their slogan to, "Built Chuck Norris tough".

Johnny Cash's remake of "Hurt" was actually written by Chuck Norris.

Every single person who has ever quoted "Napolean Dynamite" is now on Chuck Norris' list. Chuck Norris hates that dang movie.

Chuck Norris wouldn't hurt a fly; he's too busy hurting people.

The number of toothless people in trailer parks isn't evidence of poor dentistry. It's further evidence that Chuck Norris just doesn't have much use for people in trailer parks.

Chuck Norris once stubbed his toe in California. The result was the formation of the San Andreas fault.

Chuck Norris once killed a rock.

If looks can kill, Chuck Norris is one hell of a looker.

Chuck Norris saw evil, heard evil and spoke evil, then gave evil an atomic wedgie fo being an idiot.